My Jesus Loves Me

Recently I have been feeling very lonely and been struggling to fit in. I went to youth group (something that I have really struggled with fitting in at so I have not been attending for the last year) basically because I was so lost. After youth (which hasn't changed) I sat on the front porch and cried for an hour because I was so lonely, but then I realized of everyone that is lonely Jesus was the loneliest. Something my mom said last night was that people who want to change the world like Lexi at http://choosingtowait.blogspot.com/ can't fit in with the world they are changing. So I am choosing to stand alone and change the world.

So then I went to bed not in a very good mood at all and couldn't sleep for hours. I rolled around for several hours and then finally gave up. I didn't want to bother my sister who sleeps in the same room as me so I pulled my Ipod out and watched a facts of life but I had seen them all on the way home from colorado so that didn't last long. I ended up just listing to Hillsong which was awesome. I am pretty sure some of those songs were not by Hillsong by they were just what I needed and I just started praying. I fell asleep last night in my saviors arms.

This morning I woke up tired because of being up but completely rested. I was going to go running but I was to tired and my knee was spazing out so I decided to go walking. Now one of the best ways for me to vent is to run I love getting it all out just by running and I was still stressed and worried about things in life. Hence, my walking trip turned into running because I just needed to run. I couldn't keep myself from running. So I ran as hard and as fast as far as I could till I basically fell over around the one mile marker. I took my Ipod with me for some reason as I never do, but as I got exhausted the words to the song were something about lift your head up and I did and saw the clouds. The sky was so blue and the clouds formed together in what looked like to me a heart. I just started crying/ walking home. I am so glad I know my God loves me and cares about me know matter what.

Satan: Bring on the loneliness and pain. You can't defeat me any longer. I belong to My "Mountain Moving, Awe-inspiring, Life Saving God"